Erogenous zones may be genital and non-genital [37,44,62,82, and others]. The female body has a greater variety of erogenous zones, compared to the male one. In the context of this book, it is important to examine this issue in conjunction with problems of sexual psychology.
One may often hear from men who pretend that they are experienced an opinion that “all women are alike”. But in reality, only a primitive egocentric person could say a thing like this. The truth is that it is hard to find two women who would be similar from the sexual standpoint. But only that man has a chance to get to know this who seeks not pleasures for himself in his sexual relations but an opportunity to please his female partner, to make her happy and full of harmony.
Women are not alike in terms of forms of petting that are adequate for them.
They also are not alike in terms of the kind of a sexual intercourse that can provide the most intense pleasure and satisfaction for them. And this depends on which genital erogenous zone prevails in particular woman.
For example, in some women the clitoris is the most sensitive erogenous zone, which makes them unable to attain satisfaction as a result of sexual intercourse performed in that “original”, vulgar form that is typical of men who just begin their sexual life. But it is possible to reach a high level of harmony with such women (and with almost all women) if before a sexual intercourse man makes for a long time light and tender transversal or longitudinal strokes of the clitoris with his hand.
And if during prolonged intercourse man affects by his hand on the clitoris of his beloved — it may give additional beauty of sensations.
Other women have a pronounced erectile tissue and an erogenous front vaginal wall under the pubic bone — for such women only quite specific methods of sexual interaction can be adequate.
In addition, one can distinguish several groups of women whose predominant genital erogenous zones are either the deepmost part of the vagina, or the cervix of the uterus, or the middle part of the front wall of the vagina, or its opening, or all of its walls.
There is also a great variety of non-genital erogenous zones, such as breasts, skin of the face, the back at the level of shoulder blades, sacrum, and buttocks, the hair part of the head, the earlobes, the arms and the legs along their entire length, and especially feet. For example, some women are able to reach orgasm just as a result of a prolonged and tender touching of their nipples. Still others can totally lack any increased sensitivity of these parts of the body.
Sometimes there are deviations of erogeneity of certain zones — in these cases touching them makes a woman feel uncomfortable or it may even hurt her. For instance, I knew a woman whose vagina was so overly sensitive that it would hurt whenever any part of it was touched, although gynecologists had never found any inflammatory processes in this area. In case of another woman, any contact with the vaginal walls produced unbearable tickling sensations… At the same time, she had an extremely erogenous clitoris.
The functioning of the “lubrication” glands, which make the vagina ready for sexual intercourse, also varies among women. In some cases, these glands work very intensively; in others, there are women whose vagina remains almost dry after a very prolonged foreplay or even after the orgasm that resulted from a contact with extravaginal erogenous zones. In cases like these, a harmonious sexual intercourse will be possible only if some medical intimate lubricants are used.
So the task of the man is to study his female partner and to fill her with harmony. And only then the harmony for both will be possible.
Learning to seek joy, harmony, and bliss for a partner is an opportunity for spiritual self-development through the sexual aspect of love.
On the contrary, any kind of indulgence of one’s egotism, let alone intentional cultivation of it, is a path towards spiritual degradation.
No one possesses from birth the knowledge about the sexual psychology of the opposite sex.
A man does not know originally that, for example, he can prepare a woman for sexual relations with him not by verbal suggestions, demonstration of his masculine features, and especially not by violence, but only by being kind to her, by tenderness and fondling.
A man's caresses in no case should contain even small elements of roughness: they should not be, for example, slap, knead, or squeeze. On the contrary, light and gentle stroking, sometimes even “almost without touching”, will be pleasant for a woman.
He also does not know at first that an energetic beginning of a sexual intercourse is usually unpleasant to a woman and that the true harmony can be attained during a prolonged variant of copulation.
He also does not know that he should not leave a marriage bed shortly after sexual intercourse, since for his beloved it is adequate to receive his caresses, such as stroking of her back, for long enough time after orgasm, lying together with him and embracing him.
He does not know either that when a woman agrees to a sexual contact, she tends to trust her male friend totally and that it is primarily he — the man — who must take care of prevention of an unwanted pregnancy in this situation.
Abortions are certainly bad, but who is to blame? Of course, it is men in most cases, not women!
One of the contraceptive methods can be ejaculation outside of the genitals of the woman.
Orientation on stages of women’s menstrual cycle is not reliable enough for contraception. Conception can occur at any stage of this cycle; what varies in this case is the probability of conception, which never gets reduced to zero.
I should say that every man must always follow the rule of not ejaculating in the woman's vagina if she has not given her consent to it...
… A man surely does not know how different women are from the sexual standpoint.
But a woman does not know that an inexperienced man does not and cannot know all this.
By studying psychological features of the opposite sex in an altruistic sex life, a person gets closer to the possibility of realization of one of the fundamental precepts of Jesus Christ that a man and a woman must become one (Gospel of Thomas, 27; see ). What does it mean?
It means that on the way to Perfection everyone, regardless of one’s sex, has to develop all the best features of each sex. Universal God, although people call Him God-the-Father, — in reality does not possess a sex. And in order to fulfill the precept of Jesus Christ about striving for attainment of Divine Perfection (Matt. 5:48), men should cultivate gentleness, tenderness, caring attention, and the ability to forgive and to wait, which are typical of the best women. And women should develop wise leadership abilities, an aspiration to explore the unknown, become energetic and purposeful.
The best qualities of one’s own sex must, of course, be brought to perfection as well, while all bad ones must be eliminated.
The main component of the spiritual Path is ethical self-development. This is why we have to learn to develop ethical purity in whatever we do, including in mastering the sexual aspect of love (see also [14-23]).
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When a man caresses his beloved, his movements should be tender, light, and tranquil. Then the woman enters the subtlest blissful states of the consciousness. And the man, attuning with her and merging with her by the consciousness, also enters these states. Thanks to this, an important evolutionary process takes place — the process of growth of the Atmic potential of Kundalini of both partners .
At the same time, both partners cognize paradisiacal and even higher states of subtle bliss, and learn to live in these states.
We should understand that one of the most important components of spiritual development is the refinement of the consciousness. Therefore, it is through this refinement that we come close to the cognition of the most subtle Consciousness — the Consciousness of the Creator! [14-19,22-25]
Such is, in particular, the intent of the Creator for us concerning the sexual aspect of love.
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If a man is unsure whether he can give orgasm to his beloved, then he can induce it with his hand (clear, of course) by caressing her most sensitive genitalic erogenous zones. And only then he unites their genitals.
Everyone needs to remember that the sexual activity of nearly all men starts to become significantly limited from a biological standpoint when a man reaches the age of 45—55 years old. (Women at that age come to menopause). So then it will be especially relevant to recall the given advice.